New emotions...

So, I believe I am successfully working through most of my anger issues related to the death of Lily. I'm letting go of the what-ifs and if-buts related to the events surronding the night that she died. I'm now spending more and more time wondering what she is doing in heaven and what she will look like when I meet her one day in glory. Its odd that when I found out that I was pregnant I would daydream about what she would look like the day that she was born...well, I now know physically what she looks like, but now I daydream with tears in my eyes about what she will look like and what she will do when we finally are able to embrace. My preacher at church did a sermon one Sunday about what we will look like when we die and go to heaven. He basically told us that we will be in a body that is the best body that we could have ever had on earth~ so, does that mean she will still be a baby?

Its amazing to me the grieving process, and I'm sure there will be some people reading this that will think I'm morbid and I've officially lost it...but, daydreaming of her is how I've learned to cope with having to put the dreams that I had for our lives on earth together on a shelf.