Friday, September 26, 2008
anxiety
Last night I just kept having all these dreams of bumping into people who did not know that Lily had died so I had to keep repeating the story over and over again. I know this dream is related to the fact that I have to return to work on Monday after being on medical leave for the last 8 weeks. I have been in my little coccoon for the last 8 weeks, and maybe it wasn't the most logical plan to hole myself up but the real world is hard. I go get a mani & pedi but those people don't know me...My family and friends have been very supportive during this time, but being forced back into the real world again is mostly certainly going to put me in the path of someone who hasn't heard...and all the people who I haven't seen will want to hug and talk...On the other hand if no one asked me about my darling baby I would be mad, too. There is just no way to please a grieving mommy. Prayers are needed for strength.
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2 comments:
I know what you mean about it hurting either way. You don't want them to say something that makes you sad, but you REALLY don't want them to pretend it didn't happen. I hope all goes well on Monday.
my thoughts and prayers are with you on Monday. Remember my suggestion about the email to your co-workers. It is ok, to say you need more time and even though you appreciate their concern, that you need to be allowed to get back into the swing of things. Don't let it overwhelm you. Take care of yourself.
love you,
E
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