Sunday, September 14, 2008

An understanding

Dear God,

You know the spectrum of emotions that have flooded my heart in the last 6 weeks. Of how I have ranted and raved and have tried to explain to You the error You made when You decided to bring my child home to You. Silly me in all my human emotions I forgot to take notice that she really is Your child, and that she was just on loan to me. You have seen me cry with self-pity, and have seen my jealousy at the perceived blessings of others. You have seen my anger at what I perceive as life's injustice. You have seen a woman with a broken heart that doesn't know if it could face another day. You have seen a woman that cries because she feels that noone can understand this all encompassing pain...but I failed to realize that You do understand what it feels like to loose Your child. You gave Your son in the most selfless act, and I know your heart was grieved. Your sacrifice gives me the promise of seeing OUR sweet Lily again. I know I don't need to apologize to You for my behavior because I know You understand, but I do ask for Your forgiveness. I also ask for You to continue to work through my life and to give me understanding in Your plan. I love You and I have missed You in trying to be mad at You and thank You for not giving up on me. You knew I wouldn't leave for long, and I knew You never left my side.

Your humble child and servant...

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