Friday, October 3, 2008

The first week back to work

So, I just completed my first week back to work after Lily's death, and I guess I'm no worse for the wear or tear. I'm beginning to believe that some people honestly just don't know what to say, and that there are so many cliches that people just don't realize are insensitive. For instance, I had someone tell me this week that I just needed to realize that God for whatever reason didn't think Lily was meant to be...Can someone even tell me why anyone would give those words of advice? Maybe He didn't mean for her to live on earth with me, but all life is created by God and therefore is meant to be. God doesn't make mistakes. I had a few try to comfort me with the good ole "You can have more kids" routine...Hello, why in the world would that make me feel any better? I also had to correct someone that I did not have a miscarriage, but that Lily was stillborn (I hate that word)...Losing a baby at any stage is hard, but I feel I have to fight to give Lily all the credit she deserves! I want her to be validated for every week that she lived inside me~One poor soul thought that I had been on maternity leave all this time, and when I told her that Lily passed away she was mortified. I have actually grown to enjoy hugs now, before I would keep everyone at arms length, but I find comfort in them now. But overall everyone was extremly happy to see me back and getting busy again has been good.

The nicest comment I had this week was from my friend, Patty, from work who told me that I can always celebrate mother's day because I am a mother now~nothing can change that fact now.

So, I know that as the weeks tick away, people will forget that I was ever pregnant, how terribly sick I was, and how tragic the loss of Lily was...but she will forever be the owner of my heart, the occupier of my thoughts, and the reason that I know there are more important things in life than the stuff on earth.


Mrs. Mother said...

I do believe people don't know what to say so they say something insensitive. I'm sorry they said that to you.

Anonymous said...

Big hugs to you! I have come across so many people that have said these same things to me. I personally love the "you can have other children" comment. Hello?!?!? I just want the one I had. I think they really don't mean to be cruel. Thank God this kind of thing is not common, or people would be more educated. Hugs!

Orluna said...

You were a mother the first moment Lily was created in you. You will always be her mother and nothing, NOTHING can take that away from you. Love you, sweetie.