Monday, February 2, 2009


So, my hubby has been getting his taxes done by the same lady for 15 years, and we still have her do our taxes since we have gotten married. She is super nice, and we catch up on everything that has been going over the year since we last saw her. Of course, we told her about Lily and she asked me if Lily ever took a breath, and I said "No, actually she was stillborn" and her next response was "well, if she had taken a breath you could have used her as a deduction." Now, I know that she didn't mean it the way that it came out, but goodness~ Never once while I was pregnant with Lily did I think to myself "gee, she is going to make a great deduction on my taxes next year" or after she died go "this is really going to hurt my tax return!" I know using your kids as tax deductions is just the way that the system works (I actually hate federal taxes and am a huge supporter of the fair tax)...I mean my brother and his wife had twins and they got a larger tax return then we got because of the earned income credit that they got for two kids, and my sister-in-law isn't even employed.

It just pained my heart to have someone ask me if my daughter took a breath or not, and it takes my breath away to have to answer "no" just so that someone could inform me that even our tax system doesn't consider my baby a person. I feel as her mommy that I am constantly having to defend her significance, but I know that this world is only temporary...and she is strolling streets of gold right, keep your stupid tax deduction!


Beth said...

I was actually wondering about this the other day - whether or not Ada would count as a tax deduction - because a friend who had a baby last year and I were talking about taxes. As soon as I had the thought I felt guilty, but not really because I know the thought was more of a "hmm, I wonder how that works" and definitely NOT "what can I get out of this for me". Does that make sense? Anyway, I know what you mean about having to defend her significance. Lily may not have taken a breath on earth, but she will always be your daughter and you will always, always love her.

Nivedita said...

People can be so insensitive whether they 'really' mean it or not...but yes,I totally agree with Beth that Lily WILL ALWAYS be your sweet daughter and you, her Mommy....who loves her very,very dearly.

Never forgetting Gregory said...

Ouch. That hurts. What a lovely reminder of your loss. Sorry you had to deal with that. Not that you don't get a reduction, but that it was even brought up. Hugs.