Tuesday, February 10, 2009

But I am your mom!

I had a dream the other night that has been bugging me and I gotta let it go. I dreamt that I was talking to this teenage girl (who was obviously my adopted daughter) and we got into this little squabble, and she's yelling at me and saying "you can't tell me what to do~ you're not my real mom!"

Its the REAL mom part that bugs me. Obviously, I'm having some hidden insecurities that I'm going to be looked at as some imposter mom, and that our child will always want their birthmom more than they will love me. Its gotta be natural though that our child will one day want to know who their birthmother is, and as of now, I feel like I would support our child in that endeavor. My hubby was adopted when he was one month old, and he has never really felt like searching out his birthmother. I just plan on being such a good mommy that, hopefully, they won't be searching for their birthmother, because they feel like there is something that they aren't getting from our relationship.

I get excited when I think of getting that call that we have been selected and then having this child placed in arms. I tell myself that Lily would want us to get her a little sister, and that she would want me to be the mommy that I didn't have a chance to be to her.

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