I often think about the last day that I spent with my Lily. The day started out so grand with going to yardsales (haven't been to one since that day), having a great lunch, I bought some UGA pacifiers, and took a long nap on the couch. I think about how excited I got with every one of her little movements, and how especially active she was that day. Then I think about how horribly that day ended with some mysterious pain that came out of nowhere. I think about how she was kicking away even as her daddy was driving like a madman to get me to the hospital because of all the pain. I think about how relieved I was when they told me that her heartbeat was terrific and that I was having no contractions. I remember thanking God that my sweet baby was okay, and to keep protecting her. I regret accepting the pain meds and falling asleep and not even noticing that my baby wasn't moving anymore. I am thankful that my husband was able to tell her that we loved her, and that Jesus would be waiting for her. I'm having a hard time right now because our due date is 2 weeks from today...
I love her so much, and I miss her more than I thought could ever be possible...I don't want this to happen to anyone, but WHY did it have to happen to me?
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I have written that same thing. I don't wish loss on my worst enemies, but why me? I'm so sorry about your loss. A u/s showed my Gregory's heartbeat was perfect and I relaxed while I didn't realize I was losing him. I also regret getting the pain meds, because I was so out of it as I delivered him and I wanted to be alert. I am so sorry you had to lose your little girl. It is not fair. I hope these next two weeks aren't all as painful as is expected. Hugs.
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