Saturday, November 22, 2008

Unintentional pain

There were a few other ladies who were pregnant the same time I was at work, due dates seperated by mere weeks. These ladies have continued on with their pregnancies (thank the Lord) and are about to pop~ which is a daily reminder of where I should be in life. I overhear conversations of lower back pain, and what their last doctor's appointments were like, and how they are doing their last minute preparations to get ready for their new addition. I am so happy for them (REALLY!) but it still is extremely difficult to not want to run to the bathroom and curl into a ball. I would give anything in life (excluding my relationship with God and my dear hottie of a husband) for things to be differently. I can be moved to tears by the simple thoughts of certain outfits that I bought her, or thinking of all the things on our registry at Babies-r-us that we will never get to bring home to our Lily.

This is going to sound ludacris to some, but even when my husband and I go out to eat and we make a toast before having a drink, we say "here's to Lily"....She is the first and last thought of everyday. I desperately miss her.


Orluna said...

Sweetheart, you are up way too early in the morning. Big hugs. Try to get some rest. I hope these next couple of weeks go by quickly. I know you are in pain... just wish I could help.

love you,

Never forgetting Gregory said...

That has to be so tough seeing and hearing about those pregnancies. You should be in on the conversation instead of suffering the loss of your little girl. Hugs.