Sunday, November 9, 2008

Lily's voice

I was talking to my husband the other day about how I used to read my bible studies out loud while I was pregnant because I wanted to know that as a mother I had always spoken the Lord's name to my child. I told my husband that I was comforted by the fact that when our child reached Heaven that she had already heard His name and how much her mommy loved Him. Below is what I wrote today, as I imagined her hearing my voice everyday and how she felt when she met the Lord.

Lily's Voice

Her voice starts as vibrations in my little world of fluid. What I know of time moves very slowly, but the changes in me happen rapidly. Her steps lull me to sleep, but I jump at the various sounds that my carrier makes throughout the day. She calls herself “mommy” and the other voice that I hear is called “daddy”. Throughout the day I hear mommy talk of this and that and I wiggle around when she laughs. Daddy goes over my ABC’s everyday, and I dance at his silly songs.

We start the days with a story that she reads aloud to me. Everyday they are stories of a man named Jesus. She reads the stories and then talks to Him the same way that she talks to daddy. She asks Him to take care of me, and to help me grow according to His will everyday. She tells Him that she loves Him, and she always ends this talk with the same word “Amen.”

Then one day I am very sleepy, but I hear daddy talking to me and he is telling me that he loves me and to go to a man named Jesus. I know that name! The sleepiness is more than I can handle, and I see bright lights around me, and the lights are much brighter than I’ve ever seen before. I notice that my fluid world is now one of light and I feel very happy. I look up and I am in the arms of a very beautiful man, and I instantly know that this man is Jesus. I tell him that my daddy on earth told me that He would be here, and Jesus tells me that He has always known me and has always loved me. I miss mommy’s voice, but He tells me that she will be here one day with me also, but that she still has work to do on earth.

Jesus carries me to a playground were all of the other children play, and tells me that my days will be filled with happiness and joy. I wish I could tell mommy and daddy how nice it is up here, so that they will not be so sad. I want to tell them that just like Jesus held me in His arms, that he holds them in His hands everyday~ and that He loves them, too.

1 comment:

Orluna said...

Simply stunning, sweetie. Lily knew and is waiting. And the adoption is nothing you should feel guilty about. You are giving your precious girl a brother or sister. How cool is that! You are expanding your family, not replacing a member.

love you,