Saturday, December 20, 2008

I've been called a lot of things, but...

Mommy isn't one of them. We were at Atlanta Bread Company eating dinner the other night and I noticed a table of a mom, dad, and a baby that was about a year old when we were going up to order. The little girl was really cute, and of course this instantly made me sad because I will never know what Lily would have looked like as a one-year old (or any age for that matter, and I don't know what she will look like in heaven).

As dinner progressed the little girl did start getting a little noisy, yelling and carrying on, and her daddy was trying to calm her down. Then the little girl started crying and saying "mommy, mommy" with this pathetic little whimper. I started crying with her, because I'm so dying to hear those words, no matter if they are said with a joyful voice or a mad voice...I just want to be mommy.

A childless mommy is not what I want to be...I want to wake up in the middle of the night to feed them or ease them of their fears. I want to wipe away their tears when they're sad, and to laugh with them when they're happy. I'm not looking to have a house full of kids, which is a blessing, but I just want to be a mommy to at least one (living) child. Is that really so much to ask?

1 comment:

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I certainly don't think that is too much to ask. I want the same thing and I'm so sorry that we will never hear that word from the mouths of Lily or Gregory. I hope you can be called mommy as soon as humanly possible.