Sunday, December 7, 2008

I'm home

So, we are back from our whirlwind trip to Pittsburgh. I wish that I had positive news to report, but no, the quick trip turned out unfornately exactly the way that I had aniticipated. Let me share a few of the lovely comments that I received from the in-laws...1.) " it's hard to lose a baby but its even worse to lose a child"...ok, what exactly does that one mean? 2. My mother-in-law informed me that she "could've had 10 kids if it weren't for her husband's low sperm count, so it's reverse for you guys, Chuck can have kids but you can't" 3.) "I'm always buying for everyone else's grandkids, because I don't have any" . Oh, and she refuses to call Lily by her name, she is just referred to as "the baby" and acted postively repulsed when shown a picture of Lily~ which of course pissed me off...all mommies think their baby is beautiful. Yeah, I'm pissed but I feel worse for my husband, who by nature is soft-hearted and is the most loving and nurturing soul that you could ever meet...and to see him receive little to no support from his parents is heartwrenching for me. Chuck's parents have actually been where we, for them to be so distant is just puzzling. They are nice people, but obviously are just absouletly clueless.


Never forgetting Gregory said...

This makes me sick. I know everyone grieves differently, but this seems beyond reason. I'm so sorry you had to deal with these comments and issues this week. Hugs to your hubby as well. Yuck.

Beth said...
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Beth said...
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Beth said...

Wow, I am so sorry. I think we are from a different generation and that might be part of it. I have a friend whose parents lost two babies at 7 months - one even lived for a couple of days. They never held either baby and they only saw the one who lived for a few minutes. They are wonderful people who love their children and grandchildren, but I think they believe that it would have been harder if they had gotten attached. Maybe that's the way your in-laws feel, and they're worried about seeing you two get hurt. This in no way excuses the rude comments or their behavior, but it might explain it a little. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Lily IS beautiful, and she has a beautiful name that she deserves to be called by.

Oh, I should add that it was two different pregnancies both lost at 7 months - I realize I made it sound like twins.

[Sorry for my posting issues!]

Anonymous said...

I'm sooo sorry! For you and your loss, and for the horrible things you had to endure from someone who should be supportive and loving during such an emotional stage in your lives. I hope that she has been more understanding, or at the very least has kept thoughts like these to herself in the past couple of years! We lost our baby girl at 22 weeks on November 19th 2010, I've been pouring over peoples older posts, to see if what I'm feeling at this stage is normal. It's been such a comfort to me. We are very fortunate to already have a two year old, but nothing will replace the loss of Kristen in our lives.
Hugs to you and your husband!