Monday, July 27, 2009

Bonding moments~

My mother-in-law called me today because she knew I was off work and wanted to know how our appointment went this morning. Some of you may remember that my in-laws had a baby boy die during childbirth and they adopted my hubby 2 years later. She called today and actually talked about the day her son died which is a huge step for her. Back then you didn't hold your baby or take pictures. They just put you in a room and pumped you full of tranquilizers. My father-in-law saw the baby but didn't hold him. They tried to get pregnant for 8 years prior to getting pregnant and then he died due to a cord accident. My heart broke for them when I first heard the story when I was dating my hubby. Who would guess that these poor people would also lose their first grandchild 42 years later?

My MIL told me that when she was at mass the other night that she had a conversation with God about not taking this baby. She told God that he had already taken two of the best members of the family and that we all wanted this one. My MIL is a tough cookie and hearing her talk with such emotion showed me that even though she hasn't been there emotionally over the last 11 months that she was at least thinking of our pain and understood. My hubby was really upset that they didn't come to Lily's memorial, but I see now how paralyzing the emotions must be for her. To lose a son and a grandchild before they even took their first cries.

It was a great (slightly depressing) conversation but the kicker was her fianl comment. She wouldn't be a mother-in-law without one of these comments; "Now make sure you eat right at every meal, we're all counting on you." Pressure, much?

But, I did end up getting a salad for lunch :)


Bluebird said...

Oh wow. Brought tears to my eyes to read that. How sweet, heartbreaking, everything.

(And yes, ended on a very MIL-ish comment - ugh!)

Emmy said...

LOL, she had to get in that final dig, huh?

Bree said...

Reminds me of my MIL. She still hasn't said anything to me about what happened. At least you can blame your MIL's absence on the fact that she experienced it first hand. When I was pregnant, my MIL would call everyday and tell me not be on my feet too much, to not be around sick children (yeah, right), ect... It drove me nuts. And, there's been a couple of times where I've thought, I wonder if she blames the loss on me- for not following her directions to a T. Funny, how she never calls now. I swear I don't even want to tell her when I find out I'm pregnant again.

Mrs. Mother said...

I am glad you are able to see that she does care. My MIL, who also didn't attend Jenna's memorial service, has no excuse, however. I think that's a great conversation to have, but the last note, LOL.

trennia said... MIL was the same right.
She thought it was my fault I miscarried twins in 2001 and then when Emily passed well I must have done something..then there was those moments after Emily when she understood it wasn't my fault I tried everything.Now she just says I'm glad you can't have anymore child..I'm like...UGH...I wanted more it wasn't my choice remember?

Mirna said...

I understand her heart, lol! Some people find it hard to express their true feelings and when they do, it's a total flop to say the least. We will always be their children even if we turn 60! LOL