Monday, June 8, 2009

The things I've learned from my birthboard~

I am relatively obsessed with my new birth board, heck, I was obsessed with my birth board when I was pregnant with Lily. Do not let me have 5 minutes alone because I will be checking for new posts! I was on the December 08 birth board with Lily, and coincidentally am on the December birth board again this new year. (Dear God, please let Christmas be better this year!) I handle things and notice things more differently in this birth board than I did with my birth board from last year. Here are a couple to things that I've learned or noticed from my birth board:

1. I do not avoid miscarriage posts like the plague. I never clicked on or offered condolences on miscarriage posts when I was pregnant with Lily. I almost had thoughts like "poor lady. thank God that's not me." Alas, loss found me. I try to post on nearly every miscarriage post that I see because I now know the loneliness and pain that comes with losing a baby. No woman should ever be made to feel alone or that she's done something wrong.

2. It saddens me to see various women have personal signatures that list out miscarriages, but in the same signature will say "expecting baby #1" on whatever date. What about all the babies that they've lost? Do they no longer count? Why can't they just put "We're expecting a baby!"? Just like if someone asks me if this is my first pregnancy...I say no...Lily was my daughter and she counts. Maybe, my opinion on when life begins differs from these women, but I feel bad for the babies that aren't being counted.

3. Pregnant women are nuts (me included). These ladies can get into fights about baby bumps and whether or not they're real at 11 weeks to ripping each other new ones over political jokes. I really just want to read the posts about our boobies getting enormous, and all of those other creepy things that happen to our bodies during pregnancy.

4. Pregnant women have a great sense of camaraderie that is irreplacable. I go to my birthboard when I'm feeling extra nuts and see posts that make me laugh or provoke my thoughts. I feel happy for them when they get good news and add them to my prayer lists when they're worried about their beans.

All I know is that I hope I can make it to the end with this bunch of women, because it was really hard to seperate myself from Lily's know that most of them continued on to have their babies.


Mrs. Mother said...

I didn't realize you were on the December 08 board, too. I only remember just a few of the ladies there. I'm not too sure about my new birth board, though. They can be a little catty.

And, I've learned those things, too. As for the women who don't count their miscarriages as babies, it may be because society doesn't really see them as babies. Even though it's a loss and still tragic, I think society sees a stillbirth as more of a loss than a miscarriage, if that makes any sense.

Mrs. Mother said...

And I just wanted to say that I don't feel that way myself.

Heather said...

I also did not realize that you were on the December '08 board. I was as well. I delivered my healthy son, Aaron, on the 23rd. He is my third child; my older two are three and nineteen months. I have never experienced a loss, but I keep up with your blog (and Mrs. Mother's, and those of many many other mothers who have experienced the loss of a child. I rarely comment, but I support and care for you very deeply in spirit.

And I try to continue to feel blessed, even through all of the late-night feedings, snotty noses, and endless poop. ;)

Mirna said...

May I ask a stupid question? What does these 'boards' mean? Is it some kind of register? Check out my blog, I have posted a link to my baby's blog. :)