Thursday, November 3, 2011

Day #3 of thankfulness



I love both of my babies but I'm going to talk about Lily today. Oh, precious Lily, so fought for and so longed for everyday. It took me almost 18 months and 2 surgeries to get pregnant with her. Her life taught me patience. Each month during that 18 month period had tears of frustration if I'm going to be completely honest (okay, well, I was OKAY the first 6 months of trying...) but I always had hope that "next" month would be "the" month and that kept me going. Her death gave me a sense of mortality and to not take a single thing for granted. Seriously, I had never lost anyone close to me until she died. Yeah, I lost a grandfather when I was like 7 but I didn't even know him. Some would say that I didn't know Lily either but those that think that are 1. not mothers or 2. idiots. How can you not know someone that lives inside your body?


Her short life taught me so much and I try to remember how fragile life is everyday. One day your life can feel *perfect* and the next, it can feel as if it's slipping away.

7 comments:

Laura Ryan Caden Will said...

those who have never experienced it will never understand.... thanks for the post. lily is lucky to have you as her mommy.

AKD said...

I think infertility is so lonely and hard. And it goes unspoken.

Thinking of sweet Lily?

Valerie said...

Beautiful post. Lily also teaches people like me who have not been through infertility or haven't lost a baby to not take my children for granted. I often think of you & lily (and some other friends who've lost babies and/or struggled with infertility) when I'm having a rough parenting patch and it always makes me grateful in that rough moment that no matter how difficult it seems, that it is a blessing to have them here :)

Trennia said...

(((hugs))) Beautiful post.

E said...

I've experienced infertility and early loss and know the heartache involved. It is all consuming. I can't imagine a late loss. My heart goes out to you. My BF talks about her lily often as well. She lost her at 20 weeks.

brigette said...

What a beaitiful post! So true the powerful words you speak. Hugs mama and thinking of Lily. Thanks for doing this. You have inspired me to start a thankful list on my blog!!

Becky said...

How can you not know someone that lives inside your body?
I just love that!