Yesterday, we had our annual Easter festival at work and it was a little tough being around all the cute little girls in their Easter dresses. I tried to keep a positive attitude about it and tried to keep the focus in my heart about the real meaning of Easter...and that its not about cute dresses and hats. To top it all off, my sister and my sister-in-law are taking all their kids to have their Easter pictures taken on Friday. I would be lying if I said that my heart doesn't break when I think about how different my life should be right now. My daughter should be having her first Easter photos taken with her cousins right now.
I'm driving myself nuts by dwelling on every holiday about how my life should be different right now~ its a bit masochistic , but honestly I don't know how to shake the sadness of my life forever being incomplete.
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Your post just breaks my heart. Walking in these shoes are just ugly! There will always be a person missing in your life...a feeling of incompleteness. Last year, Easter came early, and Angel died right before Easter... I kept telling myself that Jesus's mother had to watch her son die on the cross in pain for us... As much as i kept trying to focus on that- I couldn't. I am sure Heaven is beautiful and our little girls are playing in the beautiful gardens...though as beautiful as it sounds- it isn't fair... your Lily should be here- but for some reason she's not... hopefully someday God will be able to let us know why he chose our daughter's...why Lily was the chosen little girl to leave your side... Hugs to you, and I hope next sunday you can feel some glimmer of hope...
I understand exactly what you mean. Everything I watch my niece do at this point, especially big holidays, makes it much more real for me that my baby SHOULD be with her. It hurts and I imagine that Easter will be rough. Sorry you don't have your little girl with you. Hugs.
Easter hasn't been hard for me, but I remember that Christmas really was. You're not alone. Holidays are just one other time that we're reminded of the sweet babies that we miss.
I totally get it. I always host easter at my house and its making me so sad this year. I think its hard to not dwell on each holiday, because we already had an idea in our heads of how the particular day would be.
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