Thursday, January 29, 2009

Trying to pull it together, but falling apart...

I have been on an anti-depressant since Lily died, and I have been trying to wean myself off because I want to make sure that I'm truly handling my grief or is it being covered by the Zoloft. I've been doing the whole tapering it off because someone told me that if you quit cold turkey that it will make you suicidal. I'm sad, yes, but don't want to die. I have been noticing since last week that I feel incredibly anxious, and well, sad. I really do want to get away from taking the drugs, but now I'm thinking of starting again, because I tired, sad, anxiety-ridden...in essence, I feel like I'm loosing my mind (or what's left).

Will I ever be the same? My dh and I should probably get grief counseling, because we are both still just having such a tough time. I miss Lily every second of the day, and get so angry that she isn't here with me.

If you read my previous post...please, introduce yourself to Patty Pissedoff.

2 comments:

E and K Rausch said...

JenJen, If you try to get off them talk to your dr. I am on them right now. I can tell when I am on them and when I am not. Its weird to know the difference. Your dr can maybe give you something a little less strong, not sure what word to use. Anyways, good luck and I wish you the best!

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I would recommend seeing the grief counselor. You and your husband went through SUCH an ordeal and it so painful. I think it is completely normal to be this heartbroken and lost (because I am also), but perhaps talking to someone will help. I should take my own advice because I care about you and want you to feel better. I know things won't be easy or happy. But I wish I could take away a tiny bit of your pain. Hugs.