Sunday, January 25, 2009

floating through...

Lately, I have been feeling like I'm just floating through life~ that I'm just watching time and life fly before my eyes. Normally, I am a very optimistic person, but I guess I'm just in a bit of a funk. I've been missing Lily even more lately~ I don't know why things are hitting me more now. I keep having flashbacks about how happy I was to be pregnant. I remember how thrilled I was to see the hpt say positive last year ON my 30th birthday. I'm dreading my birthday this year, because it will just remind me of how different my life is now. I go up and down with feeling more like the old JenJen~ but can you really ever be the same person when you've lost someone that you loved more than life itself?

I'm going to chunk most of this funk up to hormones, so maybe I'll be in better spirits tomorrow.

3 comments:

aimeeeamomof3 said...

poor jenjen. i miss you! i love you! you know i sorta have the same flashbacks you cant live the same without a loved one i really know how you feel with my dog lucky. it`s really sad. {B.T.W. i know how you feel.}

E and K Rausch said...

Jen I am the same way, I want to be me again. The old me and well I feel that she is gone forever. Its hard to get back what you had after something so tragic. Maybe one of the reasons you are feeling this way is because you have given up on the idea of being pregnant and said ok we ARE adopting. That has to be hard on your metal status right now. I hope you get feeling better.

Never forgetting Gregory said...

When the days are rough, the days are really rough. Sorry you are missing your little girl and dreading your birthday. So many dates will never be the same. =(