I was given a little teddy bear when I was in the hospital when Lily died, and we promptly named the teddy bear "Lily bear." The name just seemed fitting. Anyways, Lily bear has been in our bed since the day we came home from the hospital. I feel silly being 31 and having Lily bear in my bed, but this bear physically touched Lily (I believe there is a picture of Lily with Lily bear in the slideshow) and having Lily bear near comforts me. When I make the bed in the morning she is placed with all the pillows, and she is placed between my pillow and my husband's pillow while we sleep. Sometimes, when I watch tv I put Lily bear on my chest...like I did when I was lying in the hospital bed, and my body felt so empty, and the weight of Lily bear on my chest was the only thing that reminded me that life was still moving.
When we're kids we have a toy that we carry with us everywhere and the thought of not having this toy destroys us. I never plan on giving away or tossing out Lily bear...neither will Lily bear become a toy for our next child. How did I become a grown woman that loves a teddy bear?
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My daughter, Lily, was stillborn at 23 weeks on August 3, 2008. Her blog has been my safe haven to work through all of my grief but now I want it to be a place of hope. Lily's House of Hope is a pic (for babyloss parents) of your baby's name somewhere in Lily's house. You can make your requests to lilysmommy8308@yahoo.com
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- Clifford the big red dog~
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4 comments:
Aww, I know how much that bear means to you!! It's such a special thing, isn't it?
We don't have a bear, but we have Cam's blanket that he was wrapped in at the hospital. I sleep with it every night, and after making my bed, I tuck it under my pillow. I won't go anywhere with out it!
It's funny because I had a baby blanket of my own, and just gave it up about 2 years ago! Now, here I am with another - except this time, this one will never leave my side!
That is rally sweet. We didn't get a bear but I can certainly imagine that I'd do the same. I'm glad you have that little comfort object.
How sweet is this. We didn't get a bear, but we got many blankets. The one blanket is the first one they wrapped her in, and it still have the fluids on it, blood and stuff, before she was cleaned off...as sick as it sounds, I will NEVER wash that blanket...because that came off her...
Keep a hold of that special teddy bear my friend!
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