Monday, March 23, 2009

Pang of regret

I was talking with my hubby last night about the different features of each other that mixed together to create our beautiful daughter, Lily. I had the pang of regret last night because I never looked at her ears. The pang hit my heart so quick that I was sad for the rest of the night. I wish I could just be satisified with the time that I did spend with her, but I will always have the "why didn't I do this or that" while I was with her...

5 comments:

Mrs. Mother said...

Hugs to you. I didn't look at Jenna's ears either, because the nurses had her head covered because it was so damaged from the birth. I have regrets that I didn't hold her long enough. I think we all have regrets when it comes to our babies. Thanks for the well wishes and positive thoughts.

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I have regrets also. I can't believe I put that baby down for even a few minutes in the hospital. Why didn't I hold him every second I had the chance? I hope you are feeling better and it doesn't eat at you too much. Hugs.

Bluebird said...

Oh sweet girl. This post broke my heart. I'm so sorry. It's amazing the things we didn't think of - but how could we??

I was given several books after losing our Babies, and the first few chapters talked about what to do in the hospital, arrangements, and etc. . . which was great except I didn't even have the books until several weeks after our Babies died! Like we knew this was coming or something. Yeah.

I know that we will always live with question and regret. I just hope with all my heart that, at the end of the day, you know and believe that you did all you could do give the horrible circumstances you were faced. Circumstances noone should have to face. ((Hugs)) to you.

mlg- believe-n-miracles said...

I understand Jen, I tried to look at and remember every aspect of my little girls, their feet, hands, nose and even their ears, over time I feel like I am forgetting. I have regrets, too. I am so sorry.

Julie said...

Regrets are so hard. They are hard to reconcile, even when we know we did the best we could with what we knew at the time. I just came to your site today through Bluebird...and my heart is hurting for you. I love my twins, Devin and Elizabeth at 22 weeks pregnant 5 years ago. My heart still hurts when I think of what I didn't do. I held them, loved them, held their hands, feet, kissed their heads...and have some pictures with them. But I wish I had more pictures. I wish I had laid them out on teh bed in front of me and took in all of them. I wish I could have held them longer. I wish, I wish, I wish....

I understand your hurting heart and I wish I could carry the pain for you!

Hugs!!!