Sunday, March 8, 2009

86 and still crying...

Some of you may already know that I work in a nursing home, and I have always loved working with the elderly population. Today, I had weekend duty and I was helping some of my residents that I go in and see daily because their room is only feets from my office. Somehow or another, one of the ladies and I started talking about children and such...and, she was just pressing the issue about if I had any babies or not, so I gave her my customary answer of "yes, but she has already been called home to God." This lady, who is 86, said to me "sweetie, I know just how you feel, I lost 2 myself before I had my daughter, you just want a baby so bad in your arms. I still cry for those 2 babies." We talked for a few more minutes, and she started telling me about how she used to cry herself sick, and that she actually stopped playing bridge with her friends because it hurt so much to hear other people talk about their kids all the time. It amazes me to know that all the time that I've known this lady that I didn't know about this very heartbreaking thread that her and I have in common. You just never know the hurt that someone carries around. This lady lost these 2 babies roughly 50 years ago, and she had tears in her eyes today while she was telling me the story of her babies. I left her room and walked the few feet back to my office with tears in my eyes, and a realization that I will one day (Lord willing) be the cute old lady in the nursing home and I will still have a longing to hold, hug, and kiss my darling Lily~

And, I know that I will still have tears in my eyes...

6 comments:

Mrs. Mother said...

I posted to you about this on Baby Center, too, but my granny lost two babies, too, and she cried about and missed them both until the day she died.

Bluebird said...

I've heard stories like this before, and its such a strange feeling. On one hand, its reassuring to know that others are so deeply touched by their losses. On the other hand, its heartbreaking to think of dealing with such - well, such heartbreak - for the rest of our lives. Mostly, though, I guess its just a lesson that we never really know people. We never really know what has shaped them and formed them and made them the people that they are today . . .

What a sweet story though. I'm glad she shared with you.

mlg- believe-n-miracles said...

I have experienced this a few times now, I have talked with women who have lost children over 20 years ago and even my own grandmother who is 86 who had a 2nd trimester loss over 50 years ago, you never forget and the tears still come.
It scares me a little that I will carry this heartache forever.

Brendan and Brenna's Mom said...

Wow! That is really touching. I had tears in my eyes!

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I love that. I hate to hear that she is still suffering after all that time, but I also love to hear that I WILL remember my Gregory when I am old and cute!

Mirna said...

Dear Jen
I have lost my firstborn son almost 27 years ago to Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. I carried him 37 weeks and he died only 8 days old. One day when I have enough courage I might share my story. I still have days that I miss him terribly but I have found peace within. I see a lot of him in his two sisters and brother. Lily is beautiful and I just know you will be blessed with a healthy brother or sister soon.
Hugs