Lily's mommy forever: December 2010

Enter each day with the expectation that the happenings of the day may contain a clandestine message addressed to you personally. Expect omens, epiphanies, casual blessing, and teachers who unknowingly speak to your condition. ~ Sam Keen

This passage comes from Naming the Child by Jenny Schroedel. I've mentioned this book on my blog before because it's just so awesome! This book probably helped me the most as I've made my journey down this grief road. So, I've started paying greater attention to my surroundings and to the people that I come into contact with on a daily basis. I truly believe that our days are destined from beginning to end and those that we meet and the things that we see are sent to us by God. It's our response to these people and events that brings them to their full potential. It's His grace that allows these signs to come to us. I may sound crazy to some of you and if my follower number starts to drop then I'll know why ;)

Some of the signs that I've had recently include this post and these two other events that I'm going to share with you today.

1. In early December, a dear (blogging) friend lost her rainbow baby at 18 weeks. My heart was heavy and I was thinking about Lily, Oliver and Lily's other baby friends in heaven. I was getting dressed for church and I chose a pair of pants that I hadn't worn in about a month and had somehow missed the dry cleaning basket. I was putting on the pants and felt something heavy in my pocket and this is what I found:

2. Last week, I was listening to a Christian radio station that does a daily family name game and they do this game every hour. The gist of the game is to call in if you have a "insert name" family member and to tell them something neat about that person. Well, this woman had called in and was talking about her daughter Bethany. I thought to myself "Gosh, I wish my daughter were here so I could talk about her." Two seconds later the announcer says "the name for the next hour will be Lily." Now, I listen to this station EVERY single day and they've never called Lily's name! Literally, I was wishing that she was here then her name is the next thing that I hear!

There have also been those times that I'm down about something and in that exact moment a butterfly will drift by or I'll smell a scent in the air that smells like lilies even though I don't have blooming lilies in the house. I always thank God aloud for these moments. I always feel so close to Him and my sweet girl at these times.

Here are some suggestions from Naming the Child related to signs:

Keep in mind that although parents often experience signs and dreams they can remember, this does not occur in every case. It is wise to be open to signs, but not to seek or expect them.

Keep a journal of your experiences after your child's death. Although you may think that your memories will never fade, many do, and you may need to go back to certain dreams or experiences for comfort. If you have a good dream, write it down as soon as you wake, even if you wake in the middle of the night. The record will be worth the lost sleep later on!

If friends and family are skeptical of your experiences, don't let their response mitigate your joy. Some people are not able to accept things that they cannot understand with their rational minds.

Seek out friends who value your experiences and insights and let the conversation grow with time.

If one of your children has a dream or experience that brings comfort, encourage them to draw a picture of what they saw or write it down if they are able.