We woke up this day and went to our favorite breakfast spot (for those of you who know me IRL know that we go here EVERY Saturday barring that we are in town!). We went to some yardsales and had an overall great morning. We went home and took a 2 hour nap because mommy and Lily were tired. I got up and went to play on my birthboard for the December 08 babies, alas, little did I know that I would never again go to my birthboard with worries and questions. The next time I would be on would be to give the story that my baby had died.
I stood up from the computer at about 4;45 PM and immediately felt the worse pain that I ever felt but chalked it up to really bad gas (sorry, TMI), so I went to the restroom but the pain just got worse and worse. I asked my hubby to call my ob-gyn and tell her to meet me at the hospital. I wasn't even going to give her the option of telling me to wait it out, because I was sure that I was in labor. I was preparing myself for the end on the way to the hospital, but felt Lily kicking all the time on the drive to Labor and Delivery. I was ecstatic to find out that Lily was doing beautifully and that I was not having any contractions. I was not bleeding and my cervix was completely closed. So, what was wrong?
Blood draws were done, but were lost on there way to the lab, so another set had to be completed. A doctor came in to examine me and determined that it must be my appendix, so an exploratory lapratomy would be completed and my appendix removed at the same time. All of the risks of having surgery were explained to me and my hubby, and felt that we had no other option because the pain was excruciating. We were admitted into the hospital and my hubby had the job of calling my boss, and my family. I was given some Dilaudid, and literally passed out. I would never feel my baby kick again.
About 11:30 PM my blood pressure dropped to 60/40 and everyone went into panic mode. The nurse was manually pushing fluids into my body to bring my blood pressure back up. An oxygen concentrator brought in to help me breath. A catheter put in, well, you know what that was for and when they pulled down the hospital panties is when they saw the first signs of blood. My ob-gyn brought in a u/s machine and my baby that had a heartbeat of 145 just 2 hours prior was now in the 90's....
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My daughter, Lily, was stillborn at 23 weeks on August 3, 2008. Her blog has been my safe haven to work through all of my grief but now I want it to be a place of hope. Lily's House of Hope is a pic (for babyloss parents) of your baby's name somewhere in Lily's house. You can make your requests to lilysmommy8308@yahoo.com
5 comments:
Jen, thinking about you today and always. Sending lots of hugs your way.
Jen, I am so sorry. I've been thinking about you this weekend. I know how hard the one year mark it (at least it was for me).
I think it's strange because w/ my rupture they kept telling me they figured it was my appendix, and not to worry about the baby- she was going to be fine.
Our stories are so similar it's freaky.
Hugs to you today.
Darling Jen, from where I am it's August the 3rd allready ... since I woke up this morning I had you in my heart in in my thoughts. Just know that. Lots of love and hugs.
and just wanted to say... Happy birthday sweet Lily! There's a white candle lit especially for you. Your aunty Mirna
Big hugs. I was in Mississippi all weekend without Internet, so I couldn't offer you support then. But, I have been thinking of you all weekend.
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