Day 30

I'm going to be honest and say that I totally didn't think that I would do all 30 days! I thought for sure that I would slack off around day 16 figuring it would be just like a diet where I do great for about 2 weeks ;) There were some posts that I did combine a couple of days BUT here we are, the last day of November!

I'm going to just wrap the month up with saying that I am thankful for every day that I wake up! Life is so short. One day, we are the present but one day, we will be the past. Gosh, it is so weird to think that one day, I will be gone. I am so glad that Cooper is here so that some piece of me will continue on and I pray that I have a lot of grandkids who then have a lot of kids...yeah, you get where I'm going with this. None of us want to be forgotten when we're gone. So for now, for today, I am just so happy to be here. I'm blessed to be able to talk, walk, love, hug, sing, dance and all of those other wonderful things that make life fun :)

I hope I didn't bore all of you with my list and thank you for reading! XOXO!

Day 29

Today, I am thankful for the blessing of being a mother. I always say that Lily made me a mother but Cooper made me a mommy. A mother is carrying a child inside of you, loving this child and willing to die for that child. A mommy is being in the trenches, changing diapers, wiping up snot, doing anything and everything day in and day out. I'd die for Cooper in a heartbeat, too (hence, not terminating him at 17 weeks like the docs recommended). I LOVE knowing that there are 2 humans that were given life because of me and my husband loving each other.

I wouldn't trade this blessing for anything in the entire world!

Day 28

Today, I want to specifically tell the babyloss community how very thankful that I am for each and every one of you. I joined this (suck ass) club on 8/3/08 knowing that my heart was forever changed. The stopping of her heartbeat had forever changed the beating of mine. I didn't see the world the same and although, I am happier these days, my heart will never totally heal. The very first babyloss blog that I read was Beth's blog for her daughter, Ada, and from there I found one babyloss blog after another. I wasn't alone. I found other women who grieved for their babies, the babies that we never got to hear cry or see their eyes. The other women that were treated (by the world) as if they should "let go" because, of course, "you can just have another one!" and we huddled around each other to give a virtual bird finger to whatever dumb-a*s hurt one in our community.

I found a sisterhood of grieving mommies that gave love and advice during dark times and celebrated with me during the good times. Thank you and I love you...really, I love you...

Day 27

Today, I am thankful for my memories, those snapshots of time that are (for now) securely kept in my brain. I've worked in nursing homes for years (my pre-Cooper life) and I've seen the heartbreaking effects of Dementia and Alzheimer's and I truly believe that a life without your memories is a fate worse than death. And, I'm not being dramatic with that statement...

I have the memories of my first date with my hubby, our wedding, and meeting both of my babies for the first time as being my most favorite memories...

Day 25-26

Day 25- I'm thankful for the book Someone Came Before You which I bought off Ama.zon the other day to give to Cooper for Christmas. It talks about the baby before him that never got a chance to come home. He's still to young to understand that he has a big sister and that he's really not an only child. I included a picture of the cover because it's heartbreakingly sweet...

Day 26- On a silly note, today I am thankful for my sleep number bed. I had some muscle aches the last two days from the flu.mist vaccine then I fell on the pavement today while shopping so I'm so sore! I think I'll be putting my side's settings down for some extra softness, lol...

I swear I'll have some deeper thoughts on thankfulness as this 30 days starts to wind down!

Day 24

Today, I am thankful for my sweet neice, Abbi, who turns 7 today! She is always good for laughs and is such a special little girl! I love you!

AND, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you're surrounded today by loved ones and stuff yourselves full of turkey and happy memories :)

Day 23

I'm cleaning my house in preparation for hosting the big Thanksgiving meal tomorrow so today I am thankful for my overpriced townhouse. It's 3000 square feet keep me busy with constant dusting and it's floor plan makes it impossible to buy baby gates to contain my over curious toddler is ludicrous but there's no place like home!

My hubby actually purchased our townhome about a year before we met. It was decorated sparsely like any good bachelor would do so it was a blank canvas for all my decorating dreams. This home is where we had our first kiss, we've celebrated and mourned within these walls, we've hosted our last Friday parties and have spent countless nights just being lazy.

I love this house but it's not our forever home. So, for now, I'm thankful for all the safety and security that it provides us everyday...