To those I love and Those who love me~

I went to pick up Delilah's ashes the other day from the vet's office (yes, I am one of *those* people that cremate their pets and she is currently in her tin next to Lily's candle) and they gave me a card with a lovely poem attached. I was sobbing as I waited at the red light as I read this poem. I know many of us only spent weeks/months with our babies but I loved the message behind this poem. That their absence is only temporary and that one day we will be reunited again.

To those I love and those who love me

When I am gone, Release me, Let me go~

I have so many things to see and do,

You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears,

Be thankful for our beautiful years,

I gave to you my love, You can only guess

How much you gave to me in happiness,

I thank you for the love you each have shown,

But now it's time I traveled on alone.

So grieve awhile for me, if grieve you must,

Then let your grief be comforted by trust.

It's only for a time that we must part,

So bless the memories within your heart.

I won't be far away, for life goes on,

So if you need me, Call, And I will come.

Though you can't see me or touch me, I'll be near

And if you listen with your Hearts, you'll hear

All my love around you soft and clear,

And, then, when you must come this way alone

I'll greet you with a smile and say:

"Welcome Home"

The vet's office also sent a card to our house with a message from EVERYONE at their office giving words of condolences. It just goes to show you that God does give all of us a calling in life and their card showed me that those special people are exactly where they need to be...even, if it's just for a season because they helped us through a very difficult loss in our family.

I thought the poem was beautiful and I cried for Lily and Delilah as I read it. It's awesome to give love to others and to receive it in return. I have been so blessed to experience love in both directions.

Knowing and letting go

I've often wondered how I would've done August 2, 2008 differently if I had known that I would lose Lily the very next day. I've thought about it a lot. So, I tried to take that into consideration when I was spending my last day with Delilah. It's a far leap to go from your cat's death to your daughter's death but I learned the hard way that death is irreversible...really, I had never put much thought into death before it impacted my life in the most horrible, tragic way.

On Friday, I spent several minutes at a time just petting her and talking to her. I told her I loved her and how much she was going to be missed. Delilah had to have known that something was up because she had moved down the totem pole since Cooper was born which is something that I'm trying not feel guilty about...Anyway, I started thinking this morning about stuff that I wish I would've done with her before our appointment at the vet yesterday. I wish I had let her lay on the grass in our tiny backyard because she had never really been outside before...

Knowing that death is imminent still doesn't leave you with a sense of fulfillment. There is no way of expressing every emotion or completing every act of love. My final act of love for her was giving her a graceful death.

As a parent, I feel my number 1 job is to teach my children to love God with all their heart, mind and soul. Our final act of love as parents to Lily was to tell her to go to Jesus and that we loved her and that we would see her again because of Jesus's promise to us. So many things to say but there would've never been enough time to tell her or ever be okay with having to let go.

So, I've come to terms with the fact that I wouldn't change anything of August 2, 2008. We lived that day with hearts full of love for her and we continue to live our lives the same way...and, I like coming to this point in this journey.

Goodbye, Delilah~

Dear Lily,

I've always called Delilah my furry daughter and now she lives with you, my real daughter. She's an awesome cat and I know that you're going to have a lot of fun with her. Here are some inside jokes that you should know in your dealings with her: one of her nicknames is Rap Cat and I actually don't know where that came from...she loves it when you do a "waca waca" sound with it, too. Also, we sing "don't cry for me Argentina, cat!" (you know, kinda a joke from Evita) and we all had great laughs with that. She also never had a real meow so don't be alarmed if she only "meeps" a lot. She's also incredibly lazy and incredibly snuggly.

I told her to be as good a cat to you as she was for us. She's awesome, really...there is nothing bad to say about her. I know you guys will be perfect for each other. I love you both. I miss you both. Take good care of each other until I see you both again.

Love,

Mommy

Delilah

Delilah is my beloved cat of 6 years that I love very deeply. She was diagnosed with feline leukemia about 5 years ago and has actually done really well, that was until about a month ago. Well, a month ago was when her symptoms became more prominent anyways. She's basically stop eating and drinking recently. We took her to the vet last week and he believes that the leukemia has gone into her liver and intestines. Evidentally, they are both swollen so this is his diagnosis without doing any formal diagnostic test. He's actually shocked that Delilah has lived this long with this diagnosis since apparently she was born with the disease. His orders were to give her whatever she wants and spend a lot of time with her. We've made the grueling decision to put her to sleep tomorrow. My heart hurts and my stomach is in knots.

Delilah and I have been through a lot together. I got her from a flea market (I know!) and she was literally covered in fleas and (I know this gross) worms falling out of her rectum. I washed her every day for weeks and gave her worm medicine. She's been a completely indoor cat and the vet seems to think that this has been what's kept her so healthy until now because she wasn't around other animals and their germs.

Delilah has always been a snuggly one and loves to camp out on your chest. She was there for me several times after Lily died...I would just cry and she would just purr on my chest. There are no words for how much I love her. She's a part of our family and she's one of my dearest friends. Our house just won't be the same.

So, today I will soak up every inch of her furry loveliness and tell her how much she's loved. I will tell her about how cool she is...and, how the world would be so much better if people were half as awesome as she is...

Some of my favorite pics~

Giveaway winner!

I used a random number generator to come up with my giveaway winner...and, congrats to Melissa! Thanks to everyone that participated :)

Melissa, please email me your address to lilysmommy8308@yahoo.com so I can get your calendar mailed out to you!

As promised!

My very first blog giveaway!!!!! I thought long and hard about what would be the PERFECT gift and I don't think it gets any better than the 2011 Babylost calendar by Franchesca and Carly :)



So, leave me a comment and tell me something special about your baby if you would like a chance to win this BEAUTIFUL calendar! I'll leave the contest open until Thursday (1/6/11) at 5PM Eastern...


Good luck and love to all of you!

My first blog giveaway...

will happen when I reach 100 followers! Come on, I only need 3 more followers!

More names with the snowmen~

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”
Albert Einstein

Paula

Emalee

Brigette

My Christmas tree has been retired for the year so I can't do anymore baby names with the snowmen! I love having my Christmas tree up and enjoyed using the tree skirt for more than decoration this year :)

Happy New Year, everyone! I wish many blessings to you and your families!