Lily's gift to her little brother...

Do you guys remember the onesie that I bought as a gift from Lily to her little brother? I gave it to him today...I was going to do it on December 3rd because that was her 2008 due date but decided to go ahead and give it to him today. (Mostly because he's growing like a weed and I was worried that he would outgrow it soon!)

I just wanted to share some pics from today with all of you...

I was skeptical that I would actually have a baby to put this on when I bought this onesie...but, I should have known with a certain little angel on our side that he would arrive safe and sound...

Thank you, baby girl and your little brother loves your gift...

I'll love you forever

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be...

Many of you know this verse from the book "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch. I read this book to Cooper nearly everyday at the NICU. A lump formed in my throat as I completed this book (yet again!) yesterday to my sweet baby son because it occured to me (however late) that this book applies to both of my children.

Lily won't ever keep me up at night or destroy my cell phone by dropping it in a glass of coke (hehehe, Aimee) but I will love everything about her forever. She did however make mommy pee every 20 minutes but I liked every trip to the bathroom because she was here.

Needless to say, she will always be MY baby. She will always be my first miracle. When I tell her story I will always be able to say "my RE told me that I'll never get pregnant on my own and I was already pregnant when he was speaking those words!"

Becoming a mommy again and being able to spend time with my son has taught me truly how magnificent a mother's love is...it's different from the love that you share with your spouse, your family or friends...You still have to manuever through those relationships dependent on your views on life or pasttimes...BUT, a mommy's love is instantaneous...there are no conditions to what you will do for your children...

And, this instantaneous love happened when I met both of my children...it continues after Lily's death and doesn't stop...being with Cooper only makes my love for her grow even more...

I'm not over her...

I think it goes without saying (unless you've experienced a loss) that people assume that a new baby fixing everything. That a new baby makes you forget the one that you've lost but that isn't the case.

I spent the whole day at the hospital with Cooper but came home and held onto Lily bear and cried. I feel blessed beyond belief to be Cooper's mommy but my heart aches that I never heard her cry, saw her face change expressions, or felt her wiggle as she slept on my chest.

I don't think I'll ever be at a point in life where I'll be at peace that Lily isn't here. I'll never be at a place where I don't tell people that Cooper is my second child. Cooper is my pride and joy but Lily holds a very dear place in my heart that can never be removed.

I love her. I still miss her. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her without love and yearning.

She's my firstborn and my beloved daughter. And, you never get over that...

He's Here!!!!

Hello all! This is not Jen, it is her DH as you all like to call us. I am Jen's husband Chuck.

What a surprise....Cooper Henry was born today at 11:01 AM at 31 weeks and 1 day!!!!!!

He weighed 4 lbs even. 16 1/2 in long. He was breathing on his own at delivery with an APGAR score (I Think that's how it is spelled) of an 8 at birth and a 9 after 10 min.

Jen woke up to small regular contractions today and back pain. The Dr's didn't want to let them continue due to the rupture, so they let us know today would be the day. This is the best hospital ever!!
They had her downstairs and ready for delivery in 10 minutes. I was at home doing laundry at the time and getting ready to bring lunch to my honey. We live 20 minutes away, but I made it here in 8 min.

Right now Jen is resting and in some pretty significant pain. They had to do a classical scar instead of the traditional cesarean incision. This will be a more difficult recovery, but all she cares about is that he is doing good and his Doctor's are very positive about Cooper's progress. They estimated that he may require the NICU for 3-4 weeks.

I/She will keep you all posted on his progress in the next few days.

This may be my only chance to address you all, so I have to say thank you for all of the sharing, stories and support you gave to my honey in the last year and two months. You all have been a real blessing to us all the way from Lily to Cooper.