Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Last night while in the shower I tried to will my body into a phantom kick or in some way to remember what it felt like to have her in my body...I still have phantom kicks from time to time but I assume that they're from my pregnancy with Cooper but sometimes I just tell myself that they're from her and that she's telling me that she misses me as much as I miss her...

Sometimes, I try to will my fingers into remembering the softness of her skin or the weight of her fingers on mine. I try to will my arms into remembering the weight of her body in them. I try to will my eyes into remember all of her tiny features...


Sometimes, I try to will my heart into not hurting so bad but have found that all of this "willing" doesn't really work...

I have my pictures to remember all of her beautiful features...I have a blanket that held her body and Lilybear to cuddle when my heart is hurting...I guess these things are better than nothing, ehh?


I'll be putting this at the end of each post just as a reminder: Special request~ Lily's 2nd Heavenly birthday is August 3rd (where does the time go?) I would love to see her name and compose a video montage for her birthday so if you have the time and inclination to take a pic with her name that would be such a blessing! Lily pics can be emailed to lilysmommy8308@yahoo.com Thank you from the bottom of my heart in advance!

3 comments:

AKD said...

Oh, Jen, I can't even tell you how much I relate to this post. I was just thinking this morning of how soft Maddie's skin was, and imagining touching it again. I'm sending you so much love.

Trennia said...

I know what you mean.When i lay in bed at night I look at Emily's pictures and I think about her,and cry,and I think about all the babies that have gone to heaven before their parents and I cry.

Maggie said...

I do that too. (((HUGS))))