Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The due date that will never happen...

Today is Lily's due date. Today is the day that the doctor told me would be the "day" that I would meet my baby. Chances are this wouldn't have actually been the day that she would have born if the placenta abruption hadn't happened on August 3rd because all the babies born in my family are born 2-3 weeks early. December 3rd just stands so prominently in my mind because that was the date I was given when I found out that I was going to be a mommy. My heart hurts because I thought that I would have my baby for this Christmas~ I had even bought her a velvet dress to wear for Christmas morning. Normally, I am so optimistic for New Years...I make all the resolutions that I never stick to, and I am so optimistic for all the new things that may pop-up in life in the following 12-months. Now, I go into 2009 with trepidation because what else could happen to me that could possibly wipe out the memories of 2008 from my mind? I found out I was pregnant on my birthday~ no other birtday will have the same significance or will I ever receive a better present than I did when I received my sweet baby.

I'm going to buy one pink balloon for my hubby and I to release tonight. We are going to write Lily a message on the balloon~ and I'm going to light a candle in the angel candle holder that my mom gave me for my birthday. I do this in remembrance and in honour of my daughter's life~ the end of the life that has changed the whole meaning of my life forever.

Lily Angeline
Born into Heaven 8/3/08
~We will love you and think of you everyday until we are reunited~


Never forgetting Gregory said...

This day must be so painful. I love your balloon release and candle idea for tonight. Great tradition. I agree that 2008 is a year that will be very difficult to forget. Hugs.

Tiffany said...

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this day. It is a great tradition you are doing on this day. I am dreading my due date, and I hope I can be as strong as you. 2009 will be a great year for all of us. You can't get much worse then 2008, I think.

Beth said...

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Today is just not what it was supposed to be, is it? I'm thinking about you, your husband, and your precious Lily today. I don't know if I ever told you, but Lily is a name that I really like and considered too. It's a beautiful name for your daughter.