Sunday, November 30, 2008
Today my hubby and I went to see Australia (a must see for you hopeless romantics~I cried more times than I wish to admit) and a wonderful statement glared in my face while getting comfortable with my chick flick. The moment didn't even happen during the moving, but during the opening moments when the studios name is featured on the screen...I can't remember the name of the studio because I was so fixated on the quote written on the ribbon below their name... "A life lived in fear is a life that is only half lived"...at that moment I realized that I have lived this life of fear since August 3, 2008. When I returned to work after my 8 week medical leave I was petrified of seeing any of the 3 babies that my boss's daughters had given birth to recently or seeing the very young pregnant girl that works in a different department. I'm petrified of going out to eat and seeing the good looking couple carrying in their new baby into the restaurant, and even more terrified to see if this baby is a girl. I feel less trepidation for some reason if the baby is a boy, and I suppose this is because I had a baby girl. How to "snap" out of this fear is something that I don't know how to do just yet, and I don't know if I'm even ready to move to the next stage yet. I know that I can't hold in this "fear" spot forever, but its so hard to let go of this feeling...
Posted by Jen at 5:16 PM