Thursday, December 4, 2008

Pittsburgh

We are going to Pittsburgh this weekend to celebrate Christmas with Chuck's parents. We haven't seen them since May for Mother's day, so if you're reading between the lines you will notice that they didn't come to Lily's memorial service. This was very hurtful to my darling of a husband, and their absence was noticed by several others that were at attendance at Lily's memorial service. Lily is their only grandchild...their first grandchild and who knows...maybe their only grandchild. Not only did they not come to the memorial service, but they did not send a sympathy card or any flowers. They didn't call me once while I was out of work for 8 weeks. Chuck is adopted, which I have probably mentioned in a previous post, when he was one month old. But 2 years before they adopted Chuck they did have a baby boy that died during labor due to his umbilical cord wrapped his neck. They didn't hold their baby. They thought we were crazy when we told them that we had pictures of Lily. Parts of me wonder if they are reliving losing their child and they just don't know how to also handle the loss of their grandchild...so they just kind of act like Lily didn't really happen? or if they think its better for us if they act like life is peachy again and nothing has happened...Don't get me wrong~ Chuck has terrific parents, and I got really lucky in the in-law department, they are very giving and loving and treat me like their daughter. I plan on bringing the pictures of Lily on the off-chance that they ask to see a picture of her. I will update on how the trip went when we return on Sunday...

2 comments:

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I hope the trip goes well, even though the hurt feelings are there. It seems to me like someone who has experienced that pain would be much more sympathetic to you, and there for their only grandchild. I'm sorry you have had to deal with that them not acknowledging Lily. Maybe this trip will help.

Susan said...

Pray for them, darlin'. I have been through the same pain you have,and my mother before me. (She lost my baby sister with placenta previa at 26 wks when I was 14) It took 6 yrs, but I was blessed with the two bestest kids in the world, one of which has blessed me with a granddaughter that is the new light of my life, which my daughter named after the sister she never met. She gets it. We can not forget them, our little gifts from God, but let them give us strength to go on, knowing He has a purpose for everything. I think mine has been to be able to minister to young women in our church that have either lost babies or have preemies, and need someone to understand what they are going through. After all, there is no way you can know unless you've been there. Your MIL may not have had someone like that. Maybe you can be that someone for her. Stay strong!!