Thursday, July 28, 2011

Not in the mood

I'm the vice-president of our mom's club and we had our board meeting this morning. We're trying to hammer out the August calendar of events and they wanted to go get frozen yogurt on August 3rd. They don't know the significance of this date but I just said that I couldn't make it on that day...Would it hurt to get frozen yogurt on her birthday with my and Cooper's friends on her birthday? No. I just don't want to.

I don't want to go and act that my heart is all light and fluffy with a group of (lovely) people that have no idea what I'm feeling. My hubby and I are both having a difficult time with Lily's 3rd birthday. I guess because 3 years sounds like such a long time.

I want to wake up on Wednesday and take care of my boy, Lily's brother. Light her candle. Maybe, make heart shaped pancakes. I'm going to take her boxes to the hospital and pick up some pink balloons. I just want to be close to my family on that day. I'm even going to skip bootcamp. I just don't have it in me to be fake that day. Her day.

5 comments:

Laura Ryan Caden Will said...

dont worry about saying no to anything! that is a special day and will be for the rest of your lives. and how you choose to spend it honoring your daughter is 100% up to you! just know that lots of us are thinking about you and giving BIG virtual hugs.

Rhiannon said...

Aug 3rd is Lily's day and I couldn't think of a better way to spend it...with your family and honoring Lily. ((hugs))

Sherri said...

I don't blame you for wanting to stay away from people who wouldn't understand the significance!
I think the plans you have made sound like a great way to spend thinking aobut Lily!
Hugs

AKD said...

That day is for being real, to yourselves and her. Enjoy being close to her and each other. <3

Sarita Boyette said...

Jen, I understand completely and I know other BLMs do, too. You do what you need to do for you & your family that day. It sounds like you have a full day planned to honor Lily. (((HUGS)))