Friday, May 27, 2011

I wonder what normal feels like...

I sometimes wonder what "normal" feels like...

In the last 3 years this has been my life; 2 surgeries to repair reproductive organs and 17 months of trying to conceive, losing Lily to a uterine rupture which is one of the rarest catastrophes to happen in a pregnancy, getting pregnant with Cooper and then developing placenta increta (again super rare), Cooper being born at 31 weeks, hysterectomy at 31 years old, and then all of Cooper's trials with his hypotonia. Really, I'm exhausted just reading the list but then I lived it and still deal with some of these issues on a daily basis.

To those of you that get pregnant easy or hell, can get pregnant, please, cherish the blessing! I'm as sterile as sterile comes and it's starting to hurt with all of these pregnancy announcements. I'm truly happy for all of the pregnant women but gosh, it hurts to know that I'll never have another chance.

For those that get pregnant and have uneventful pregnancies, relish in your innocence! I can't even imagine how that must feel...To bring home every baby that you've been pregnant with, wow, what a true blessing. Kiss and tell these precious babies, how much you love them everyday.

For those with completely healthy children and only have the "normal" stuff to worry about, how I envy you! I really can't stand to hear people whine when their kids aren't walking at a year old...ugh...but, I don't want to regress...

I just really, really wonder what it must feel like to have a "normal" life. I know everyone has trials but it just seems like my deck seems a lot heavier than many around me.

6 comments:

Joshua said...

Hugs, Jen.

Becky said...

You have defnitely been through more than your fair share of crap these past few years.
Thinking of you

Trennia said...

(((HUGS)))
I'm sorry it hurts, I know the feeling.It's hard I know, I am so sorry my friend....

Susan said...

Yep. It's time for you to catch a break. Sometimes life just inexplicably blows. Much love and many hugs...

MissingYouAlways said...

<3 hugs momma

New Year Mum said...

You have been through so much... and are such a strong person. I can only imagine a fraction of what you've been through and share the wonder about what a normal life would be like ??? Love to you always xoxo