Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Yes, I'm back...I just can't stay away!

I was reading a great article in this month's Parent's magazine regarding parents that have fought to change laws after their child dies in a (mostly) preventable and tragic accident. One of the moms said something so *perfect* that I just had to come out of blog vacation and share:

"Just because we're still talking about our child doesn't mean we aren't moving on. We are moving on and taking him with us."

THIS is how I feel! I've said it before and I'll say it again, I live life everyday and 98% of that time with a smile on my face. I've dealt with more in the last 3 years (and, to extent on a daily basis with my rainbow's muscle condition) than most people will ever experience and most people (not to brag!) ask me how I always manage to be positive. I think there is some misperception by friends and family that I'm somehow still stuck but I'm not! I still have moments where I'm not "okay" that losing Lily (and, my hysterectomy) is the deck of cards that God handed to me BUT I live with it, still praising God and with a smile on my face.

Sometimes, I feel like walking away from Lily's blog and not look back but I feel like she wants me to stay here and help. This blog isn't my emotional crutch, I don't need her blog to help me cope with my grief, I really don't. I stay because I hope to help. I can't crusade to change laws so another woman won't experience a uterine rupture or that another woman won't ever experience the stabbing loss of giving birth to a dead baby. What I can do is offer love and support to other grieving moms in her memory. She keeps me here to offer my moments so that others will know that it's normal to feel this way. She keeps me here so that I can read that post on a blm's blog that screams "help me, I feel like I'm drowning in the pain" and offer words of encouragement.

So, my blog vacation lasted almost a week. What can I say, I just love this community and the friends that I've made here. I'll leave when I'm good and ready and if that doesn't happen...well, I hope you guys don't mind my company, lol...

Also, I can't comment on any blogs right now for some reason so please, know that I'm reading and hope to comment soon!

9 comments:

Jessica said...

*hugs* We will always welcome you back. That quote is awesome. Which issue? I just got one in the mail. I should check it out.

JenJen said...

Jess,

It's in the May issue :)

Ava's mummy said...

So glad to see you back! :) I love that quote, it so perfect. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

Sarita Boyette said...

I was thinking about you today! Yes, you have good things to say to help bereaved parents. Glad you coudn't stay away! xoxo

Rhiannon said...

I am glad that you are back, too! :) I agree, I don't see our blogs as a crutch but a tool. A tool to help us through our grief and make caring friends along the way! That quote is great, by the way!! <3

brigette said...

So glad your back!!! I love you and your blog!

elena said...

Amazing! Well said! & I love the quote, thanks for sharing!

Melissa said...

Glad you are back!

Holly said...

You sound a lot like me, Jen!! There have been times when I have thought of walking away from my blog and this community and never looking back but I've found that I just can't do it. The friendships and connections I've made have been so vital and have helped me in my grief and to not feel so alone. How can I turn my back on that? So I stay! lol

I, too, smile the majority of the time and rarely have breakdowns. I've continued to stay a positive person like I've always been. Nice to know I'm not alone!