Friday, July 3, 2009

11 months...

11 months have gone by since Lily died. One more month and she will have been gone for an entire year. Where does the time go? I try sometimes to remember what I was doing on a certain day last year before my entire life became something entirely different. Sometimes my recall is better than others, but I can say that I don't remember anything from July 3, 2008. 11 months ago, I was an innocent first-time mommy to be...

I dread August 3 hitting the calendar this year. I know as time goes by that it will become easier and easier for people to forget that she even existed. I can't bear to think of her slipping from other's memories, and is it even fair for me to expect them to always remember her? They didn't know her like I did...

I rarely write about individual months being of certain significance (I wrote on her due date), but this being the last month before her one year death anniversary has got me in a bit of a panic state...

6 comments:

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I understand the fear that as time goes on it gives people more of a chance to forget about our babies. Please know there are so many people who will NEVER forget her. She will always be your first born daughter. And as long as I will remember Gregory (for my whole life), I will sympathize with other suffering mommies and remember all the babies he must be in good company with. This includes your sweet Lily.

Michelle said...

I am right there with you. The one year mark is only a few short weeks away for us. My husband and I have been talking about it a lot - and what we want to do for our daughter.

I think sometimes people don't forget; they just don't talk about it as much. A woman from church recently said something about it being almost a year for us and I was honestly taken aback because it has been the only comment I've heard so far. I wish people knew that it's more painful for me when they don't say anything at all.

I hope the one year mark helps to bring you some peace in your special time with Lily.

Emily said...

Jen, we will never forget your Lily. She was an amazing, special little girl who has touched many through your blog, and who has helped me on this horrible road. I'm convinced she is one of Leila's best friends up there in heaven. I'm so glad Leila has others around her, anxiously awaiting their mommies just like she is. Comfort in numbers. :)

Sending you a hug, sweetie. This journey sure isn't for wusses, is it? Loving you....

Beth said...

I'm with Hollie...I will always remember Lily when I think about my own Ada, which will be for the rest of my life. She won't be forgotten.

Bluebird said...

It makes perfect since, the feelings you describe. And I'm sorry.

MendedHeart said...

When I saw Lily for the first time, I just knew I could never forget her sweet little face. Although some people might forget her over the coming years, she will always be the one who filled your heart first. Hugs