Wednesday, August 3, 2011

What my daughter's death has taught me...

1. God always loves you. I now know that her death wasn't meant as a punishment. In the first few weeks and months, I was pretty sure that He allowed her death because of my really rawdy and raunchy college days (hey, I went to UGA!). I now this isn't the case. How do I know? Because I know a man named Jesus. I'm confident in His promise.

2. Sometimes life is just unfair. Crappy things happen to good people all the time. Yes, your child dying exceeds the definition of crappy but you get me. And, yes, I'm totally defining myself and my hubby as good people because we are...

3. Life is precious. Every single heartbeat and breath is a miracle. Another day to be YOU. There is only one YOU. That's why I miss Lily still to this day. There can never or will ever be another HER.

4. This is how love should be:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4"

This is the love that I have for her every.single.day. Yes, I love my hubby, I have since our second date! True story! And, my love for him also fits this description but I don't think I truly acknowledge this true and perfect love until I lost her.

5. Years take away the sting but they don't take away all the pain. I don't cry every day, heck sometimes, I go months now without crying BUT I miss her everyday.

6. Live your life with purpose. I want to make her proud. I will never allow her to fade into the background so everyday I will strive to be the best me. Whether that best me is moody one day and super sweet the next day, I will always be there for others.

7. It's the little things in life that people notice. I will always say "please" and "thank you" to others. I will always hold the door open for the person leaving the store at the same time as me. I will always say "bless you" even to a stranger that sneezes. I will occasionally (hey, I do have a budget, lol) buy the coffee for the person behind me in the Star.buck's drive thru. I will tell my hubby and child that I love them every.single.day. I will play with Cooper even though I'd rather sit on the couch. I will kiss his cheeks as many times a day as possible. I will sweep the floor everyday because I know it makes my hubby happy. I'll never let the sheets go a week without being washed because I know my hubby loves to sleep in a clean bed.

8. To always, always love life. Don't ever take it for granted.


Dear Lily,

Happy birthday! I LOVE you!!!! Watch for your balloons today!

I can't wait to give you hugs and kisses one day, sweet girl..

Mommy

7 comments:

AKD said...

This is so perfect and true, Jen. Love to you today and always.

Joshua said...

Making me teary. I'll be watching the sky today.

Laura Ryan Caden Will said...

Jen,
You are an amazingly strong woman and give me so much hope. I am so glad to have stumbled across your blog. God has plans and although I will never understand some of them, I am glad HE is in control.
Many thoughts and prayers for you today. I know there is quite the party going on above us.

Trennia said...

Happy Birthday Lily!
(((HUGS))) to you Jen...thinking of both of you today and always.

Remembering Alexander said...

Happy Birthday Lily!
Thanks for sharing Jen.

Becky said...

Thanks for sharing those. I have learned many of those same things already.
Thinking of you and Lily on her birthday.

MEK said...

Happy Birthday Lily