Tuesday, August 2, 2011

One last day

Tomorrow, I will have to officially say that Lily has been gone for 3 years. Wow.

The Jen of August 2, 2008 wouldn't even know who she was looking at now. How much stronger and weaker that I can be all at the same time. My faith in God unshakeable on August 2, 2008 despite 18 months of trying to conceive. Her death rocked that faith to it's foundation. Most days, my faith is solid but other days, I still question. The Jen of August 2, 2008 would've never done that. Maybe, the Jen of August 2, 2008 took things for granted and was naive because "bad" things like losing a baby never happen to loving, God-fearing people. They do everyday.

Tomorrow, I'll wake up and time will still be moving. But, tomorrow will all be about HER and what she's taught me...Tomorrow, I won't wonder what 3 years and one day will feel like.

I love you, sweet baby. Forever.

5 comments:

brigette said...

Praying for you..these dates are so hard. You are a strong mama and I will always remember Lily. Much love to you always!

Trennia said...

I have been thinking about you and praying for you...also thinking of your Lily.

AKD said...

Love and prayers, dear friend.

Sarita Boyette said...

Thinking of you, dear.
The person I was died with Meredith. For me, my faith was not shaken, but I have never been the same. As you celebrate Lily tomorrow, please know I am with you in spirit.

Julia said...

I am thinking of you today. ((HUGS))