Sunday, April 19, 2009

Scared...

I had a dream last night that I was 25 weeks pregnant and was out shopping with my mom and sister, and my water breaks. I remember crying in my dream and telling my sister to hurry up and call Chuck. I'm crying and saying over and over again "I'm going to lose another baby..."

I guess these fears are starting to fester as our start date of TTC again approaches. The pain of losing Lily has been tremendous and I do fear of something happening again. I don't know how I could piece my heart together again if something else were to happen. Unfornately, we in dbm land know that multiple losses do happen...

I know I can't allow fear to keep us from achieving our goals of having a child in our home, but there isn't anyway of keeping the fear away either...

2 comments:

Dylan's Mommy said...

oh honey, I'm so sorry! Dreams like that suck big time. They are terrifying. Your post really goes along with what I just posted on my blog "Going Through Hell". It really helped and touched me. Maybe if you read it, it might help a little? I hope so! ((hugs)) sweetie.

Orluna said...

hugs... think positively. If you are going to do this thing, I support you completely. Yes, the odds are not in your favor, but hell, bad odds are broken all the time.

love you,
E