Thursday, April 9, 2009

Mostly Forgotten...

I may be extra sensitive right now because there are certain dates looming out there that are special for me when I think back to when I was pregnant with Lily. The first time I saw here on an u/s is next week, and my morning sickness started right around this time last year. All of these milestones mean so much to me still, but I'm learning that these dates don't really matter much to anyone else outside of me, my hubby, my sister, and one friend at work, really. Not that I expect anyone to ask me how I'm doing out of the blue, but it would be nice for someone to ask how things are going in my life as far as the grieving process is going...

My pregnancy and loss are such a distant memory for almost everyone. I loved Lily more than life itself, and noone even asks me about her. I just don't want her to be a fading memory, but its seems as if everyone has already forgotten. I get the feeling that most people think that another baby is going to be my miracle cure, as if another baby is going to patch up the hole in my heart.

I just miss her and she is nearly every other thought in my mind...I just don't want her so easily forgotten.

6 comments:

Jessica said...

I want you to know... that I understand. Being pregnant again, I feel like people will forget Georgia too.

Hollie said...

You know, that was (and sometimes still is) one of my biggest fears. That, just because others never got to meet Cameron, that they'll forget about him.
I know my family never will, but I just wish people would talk about him or ask me how I'm doing still.

Like you said, it's like they think another baby is the magic cure. It's not, by any means. It helps the pain, but it will never take it completely away, because no other baby will ever take Cameron or Lily's spot.

I started taking it upon myself to bring him up whenever possible. I didn't give it a second thought, and would throw his name in there like no big deal. I think that helped me a lot, because then I knew that, even if for a second, that person or those people, I was talking to, thought about him.

Nivedita said...

I don't think we will ever forget Lily ...who can forget the sweet little angel?? I am with you Jen, in this journey of yours....and I see it everyday in your face,how much you miss dear Lily...

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I feel the same way quite often. I feel like people think Gregory is just a part of the past they don't need to talk about and that I'm all "cured" because I'm pregnant again. I feel like most people are "over it" and that they expect me to be as well. We will never forget our little ones and their friends. Lily will always be on my mind as well.

Mrs. Mother said...

I know exactly what you mean. I don't want people to forget about her. She was here, and she mattered.

I don't have any great words of wisdom, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm listening.

Beth said...

I think for all of us this is our biggest fear - that our babies will be forgotten. *I* will not forget Lily. I'm sorry that you're going through this rough patch.