Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Why am I still here..

on Lily's blog, that is... I made a handful of blogging friends around the time that Lily died and none of them really write on their baby's blog anymore. This has me wondering why I still come here so much. I guess I still come here because this is the only place that I can talk about every feeling that crosses my heart. I don't have to be all confetti and unicorns here. I hope that I've helped others and that I can continue to do so with Lily's memory being my motivating factor. I want to help to make her proud. I hope I can give comfort to another grieving mom by just one post... This blog has been a road map of my progress from deep dark despair to a place of a happy calm...I wrote when I wanted to die (and, I really did in the early days) and now I write because I still have so much to live for... I think I really blog here a lot still because the rest of the world has left her behind but this blog, Lily's blog, keeps her memory alive...my memories of her. My love for her is displayed here for anyone and everyone to see and I guess, I really like that idea.

12 comments:

Sherri said...

I am so glad that you are still here blogging! You helped me so much in the beginning, with your kind comments.. and reading your blog, helped me to know that what I was feeling was normal! I always feel awful saying that I'm happy about reading someone's blog, because the reason they are here is just so terrible. But truly, I want to say thank you!

Devon said...

I think as long as you want to blog here, you should. This is YOUR place and only you know when it is time to stop, if ever. I think its a great tribute to Lily's life...

The Zoo said...

Well, that makes two people (I'm sure there's more, smile) that you've helped deal with their grief.

I am "new" to the loss community and don't have a blog specifically dedicated to my dear Alexander. Instead, I write a private journal as my family is the type that doesn't want to hear about how sad I am or that I haven't "gotten over" it (it being Alexander) yet.

In turn, I read blogs like yours. I am comforted to know that my feelings are normal, that Alexander will never be forgotten (by me) and that I am not alone.

Lily lives on.

Thank you.

Bree said...

I wish I wrote more on Ella's blog. I still write from time to time. I feel like that is her space and when I need to feel close to her, I go there. I also like to use it still to record important things like her birthday or pictures of her name. Hugs. Glad you're still here.

AKD said...

My heart reaches out to you whenever you post here. <3

April said...

I'm still around <3

Sarita Boyette said...

I love to come to Lily's blog. I'm glad you are still here! When I started Meredith's blog, I wanted to write everyday. I wish I had the energy to do that. I do look at her blog nearly every single day and just look at her picture, if nothing else. I last wrote over 2 weeks ago. I understand how you feel that Lily is here on your blog. (((HUGS)))

Becky said...

I agree with everyone. I am only 3 months into dealing with the loss of my Liam and am so grateful to have met so many wonderful blm's. I follow both blm's that are in the same stage of loss as me but also ones like yourself that are further down the road in this journey.
It is nice to see that you still write about Lily, it is a wonderful tribute to here memory and it also shows me that there will still be hard days ahead but that I can live through this.
I think Lily is proud that her momma still writes about her
HUGS

Jill said...

I don't post as much anymore, but I still am on their blog. I write when I need to. Grief has taken many turns for me and the blog is something I find comfort in. Happy you are still blogging :)

Rhiannon said...

I love that you still write about your sweet Lily. It is a wonderful testament to your love and pride for your daughter. <3

New Year Mum said...

I love sharing this journey with you and love that you write about Lily and your story. With you here and every step of the way xoxo

brigette said...

Im glad that I found you and glad that you still blog!! I love reading your posts!! Much love always you have made a difference in my journey!