Tuesday, April 12, 2011

2 years, 8 months, 1 week and 5 days...

That's how long it will have taken me when I go to my first baby shower since losing Lily, other than my shower for Cooper, on Friday. And, really the only reason that I can wholeheartedly go to this one is because she's having a boy. I must be the most selfish person on the entire planet because I would fake a dentist appointment if she were having a girl. I'm even bringing an appetizer so this is something that I have to plan ahead for and go buy a gift. Now, I have bought girl gifts for my blms that have girl rainbow babies and this doesn't bother me at all! But, friends who have baby girls will receive a greeting card with a gift card inside. Yeah, I don't know if that puts me on the crappy friend scale or not! Hey, it's one step forward even if I'm still not ready for girl baby showers but one step forward is better than two steps back!

9 comments:

AKD said...

I don't think that makes you a crappy friend at all. That is entirely understandable and is what YOU need to heal.

E said...

*hugs* definitely understandable. You're getting there one step at a time. My best friend lost her daughter at 20 weeks. It was horrible. :(. She just had another one successfully 8 weeks ago.

brigette said...

Your doing your best thats all they can ask for right!! No one understands unless theyve been there! I think your doing a great job!!

Rachel said...

Not selfish at all. It is really just taking it one step at a time, what ever that step is for you. My next step is to go visit my friend who just had a baby girl. This will be the first infant girl I have seen since I Emily

April said...

I can't do it either, and Moran will be 3 in September. Everyone's time tables for healing are different <3

MEK said...

It took me 2 years 4 months 2 weeks and 1 day to go to my first baby shower and it was for a boy. I had HUGE anxiety about it. I went and It was not as bad as i thought. It might be because I my rainbow coming.

Ava's mummy said...

Another one who can't do baby showers either, all we can do is our best. I think you sound like a fantastic friend personally :). I hope it is a gentle day for you.

Sarita Boyette said...

I completely understand. I don't mind getting things for BLMs at all. For many years I couldn't go to showers, and sometimes seeing pretty pink showers pictured on blogs upsets me today, at this late date in the game. You just do whatever you need to do for you. xoxo

Jessica said...

It doesn't make you a bad friend at all. You need to do what is right for you. I had a friend skip Joshua's shower because she lost her five year old son and going to a boy shower reminded her of him. She did what she had to do. *hugs*