Sunday, January 3, 2010

Everything I own...

I was out shopping today while daddy and Cooper spent sometime together and was listening to my Bread cd. I've heard "Everything I own" so many times over the years as it was my parent's "song." I was just signing along and the chorus just sounded so different to me and before I knew it I had tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat...Here is the chorus if you don't know the song:

I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give ev'rything I own
Just to have you back again

Doesn't every babyloss momma feel these words? There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think to myself about how I would do anything (excluding selling my soul to Satan or something along those lines...sounds random, I know) to have her back, not just for a day but to have her really back everyday with me.

I have no bargaining chip in this game and God chose for some reason that Lily wasn't made for this world. But, it should be said outloud that I would give up anything to have her here with me...He could have her after I've spent my life with her...

9 comments:

Bluebird said...

I understand. It's strange to me that even this willingness isn't enough. As if it should be.

The passage of time might dull the pain, but it doesn't make anything make any more sense, in my opinion.

Beautiful

Emily said...

We all get gut-checked by a breakup song and how it relates to our loss. Mine? Taylor Dayne's "Love Will Lead You Back". Sometimes I wonder if our babies don't send these songs to us to let us know they miss us as well....

Jessica said...

songs take on a whole new meaning after you have lost a child. *hugs*

You are right....give up, do anything just to have our babies back.

AKD said...

That's just so lovely, so beautiful, so sad. Hugs to you.

Em said...

Wow! I know that song well, but never thought of it that way. I would also do anything to have my Lilly here with me.

Trennia said...

I think music helps us in someways...this is beautiful.I relate to it too, but like you I would never give my soul to the devil!

Madyson said...

I know that song.It`s such an amazing song.

Jill said...

I feel all those words so deeply. I now listen to songs differently.

Lilly's Mom (Desiree) said...

Thank you so much for sharing these words. I lost my baby girl on 11-13-09. I was four days over due, went to the hospital for a scheduled induction...we missed her by about 3 hours. She was born still.