Monday, January 11, 2010

It doesn't wash away everything...

This bottle of pink soap is all that remains in what was Lily's nursery...I spent so much time trying to find just the right shade of pink to go with the pink and brown theme of her room and the bathroom. I remember walking down the soap aisle with said soap in hand and feeling triumphant! I did it...now everything is perfect!

Ahhh...blissful ignorance :(

I am reminded of my naivety everytime I use this soap. The tangy grapefruit scent and the pink color (that no longer goes with the decor) is a reminder of how carefree life was before we lost our sweet girl...

Now, I panic when I think of when all the soap is used as if an era will be gone. I wonder if I will be viewed as some crazy pack rat if I put the bottle in a tupper.ware container and keep it for the rest of my life. I know its irrational to put so much thought into a bottle of handsoap...

12 comments:

Em said...

I think saving it is a great idea! Especially since finding it was such a big deal. I have never seen such cute soap! :)

Melissa said...

blissful ignorance, I wish I could go back there. I say keep it! Who cares if people think you are crazy!

Jill said...

You should definitely keep it! I save everything that reminds me of my babies.

Trennia said...

I totally understand.
Keep it even if you put it in a keepsake box...that's what I've done with stuff.

Julia said...

Oh yeah, I understand too. I probably wouldn't even let anyone use it!!!

Michele said...

not at all... you arent crazy at all...

Maggie said...

You aren't crazy at all, keep it! :)

Jessica said...

You are not crazy at all. I would hold onto the soap as well....anything that is a part of my child is worth saving. *hugs*

Mirna said...

Keep it for as long as you want. I have done the same with hibiscrub ... it took and still takes me back to the times I had to scrub before I could hold him. The fragrance always reminds me of those days - the emotional connection used to make my stomach turn... but time made it 'better'

The fragrance might fade but this was Lily's - so hang onto it for as long as you need to. Oh Jen it must be so hard for you at times...

Hugs to you! xxx

Franchesca Cox said...

No it's not irrational. It may be to someone who hasn't been in your shoes but little things like the soap hold significance that only your heart can appreciate, and that other babyloss mamas can understand. One of the things that I think of for Jenna is a candle I received while in hospital bedrest. Now it is almost all gone, and I got to thinking about what I would do when it's completely burned out. Do i keep an empty candle jar? I think i really will, it's scent just takes me back and sometimes I need that.

Sorry I am rambling... just want to let you know you're definitely not alone in feeling like this.

Bluebird said...

I wouldn't even think about throwing it out :) I even saved the paint chips we *considered* when picking out the color for our twins' room. When we don't have anything here to hold on to, we hang on to what we can. . .

((Hugs))

Never forgetting Gregory said...

When we don't have the amazing little people who are supposed to be with us, we cling to anything that relates to them. I would definitely save it. I am often reminded of how naive I was at one time as well. Hugs.