Thursday, October 22, 2009

I was trying to take the high road

Some of you will remember a post that I wrote a couple of weeks ago about a certain nurse that hurt my feelings with some comments that she made about only feeling bad for women who lose babies at full-term. After cooling down and a lot of "Lord, help me" prayers, I decided to just let the matter drop. I felt some guilt about what if she says those comments to other women but at that point I had like 6 more weeks here and just didn't want to rock the boat. I decided that I would let them know about her when I leave here. I just crossed my fingers that I wouldn't have her as my nurse again...

Guess who walks into my room as my nurse today? You guessed it...

I said a silent prayer in my mind to give me unconditional love for this clueless lady. She introduced herself to me (I'm thinking, no I remember you...) and began her conversations with benign subjects, i.e. weather and how I've decorated the room for Halloween. She starts to ask me how I'm feeling and I give her all the standard answers (no cramping, no leaking, no bleeding, and yes the baby is moving). She then asks me what kind of placenta accreta that I have and I respond with placenta increta and she says to me "oh, thats not too bad." Come again? So, I respond back to her "I'm have to have my uterus taken out, how is that not bad?" Again, just like last time she tries to buffer her blow with "oh, I just mean that they won't have to scrap the placenta off the bladder and stuff."

Now, first off, they don't know if my placenta increta and hasn't turned into placenta percredia and won't know that until they open me up. Second, I'm only 31 and I've having a hysterectomy. I sit here with this much loved baby boy and cherish every kick and roll because I know that I will NEVER feel this again. I've had the true blessing of being pregnant twice and have loved every moment of both pregnancies. My first baby died and I spend countless hours worrying that this one will,too. This is my LAST chance at having a healthy and living child come from my body. Through all of this, I'm just grateful beyond belief because some women don't have one baby come from their body. I often think of these women when I feel bad for myself...

I've had enough with this woman and did have her supervisor to come to speak to me. I shared both instances with her and the charge nurse apologized profusely and was throughly embarassed that one of her nurses would use such insensitive comments with a patient ESPECIALLY on this hall. I expressed to her that if my doctors think that I need a psychiatrist than they can send me one because I don't need this nurse's perspective on how I feel about my circumstances. I'm rather intune with how I feel about my circumstances but I don't need some hard-ass nurse trying to belittle my feelings. I'm off of this nurse's assignment and will never have her as my nurse again. I really don't want an apology from this woman and really just don't want to ever see her again in life.

9 comments:

Joshua said...

Good. For. You.

Bree said...

You did the right thing. I'm glad you spoke up. Fine if she was insensitive once. But, the fact that she did it again, is terrible. I'm sure you're not the only one she's offended. Congrats on reaching 31 weeks, Jen! That's great!

Em said...

Just think of how much pain you've saved other women. Way to go!

Em said...

Are you in the hospital, or was this for a doctor's appointment?

Jen said...

you certainly did do the right thing..It baffles me at how insensitive people are.. and it baffles me more that they are in the health care field..anyway.. Congrats on saying something and for making it to 31 weeks!

Jessica said...

Jen, Thats awesome. We all need to stick up for ourselves. Unless people are in our situation they have no reason to downplay our feelings or insist that we are crazy in anyway.

*hugs* for 31 weeks. :)

AKD said...

Good for you! I'm glad that you made a comment that was stinging enough to let her know how offensive she was, but not to sink to her level. Awesome on getting her supervisor involved, too. Just... wow.

Never forgetting Gregory said...

Wow. I'm so glad you did speak up and got an apology from her boss. That is unacceptable behavior. How dare she??? Not that serious? Yuck.

Bluebird said...

So unforgivable. I'm so sorry you had to have (another!) such experience. I'm so glad you'll never have to see her again. ((Hugs))