Monday, October 26, 2009

I miss you, Lily

Dear Lily,

I miss you so much more these days. I think of all the things that I've missed doing with you and my eyes water and my throat clenches when I think of having to live the rest of my life without you.

We had a babyshower for your little brother yesterday. My heart was so conflicted as I tried to put on a brave face for all the guests and how I wish we were able to do all of this for you, too. Your Aunt Aimee made a speech for you at Cooper's babyshower. I was crying because she called you Cooper's guardian angel and about how you were with us at the shower, too. She made a beautiful sign for you and even gave us a beautiful frame with an angel and a baby on it. Everyone in the family wishes that you were here to celebrate with us.

I think about you being here and how I would have two babies in diapers! You would only be a year older than you're brother. I think you would've been a great big sister! Of course, you and Cooper would have days where you would drive each other and mommy crazy, BUT all those days would be worth it if you could be here, too. Daddy miss you a lot, too. We talk at least once a day about how wonderful it would be if you were here because they house would be evenly divided! Right now, mommy is outnumbered!

Please, know that we aren't moving on without you. Life is that way but you are never far away from our hearts and minds. We know you're watching down on us and especially you're little brother. There isn't one of his kicks that doesn't remind me of how precious you are and of how precious life is...

I'll love you eternally,
Mommy

10 comments:

Jessica said...

Jen, I can imagine thinking of Lily now as you prepare for Cooper's birth. Prayers for peace during this time. Lily is watching down on you. *hugs*

Ali said...

Bless you. I can imagine how conflicted you are right now. You are happy expecting your baby boy, but wishing your angel Lily was with you.

She is watching over both of you to make sure her baby brother gets here safely as I know my angel Cadynce will be when we are ready to try again.

Lea said...

Conflicted emotions, absolutely. I hear you, girl. How sweet of Aunt Aimee to include your precious girl at Cooper's baby shower. I am certain she was there showering her mommy and baby brother with kisses.

Love to you.

AKD said...

Such a hopeful, yet sad time. Thinking of you as you prepare for the baby to come while mourning the one you've had. Hugs!

Marie W said...

3o weeks! Jen I am so proud and thankful that you made it this far, and praying that you make it further. Lily is indeed looking down on you and Cooper and is making sure he gets here safely. My sister said to me once, "what better guardian angel to have than your own brother or sister?". May hugs to you and I cant wait for Cooper get here ( but not for the next 6-7 weeks! STAY PUT COOPER!!!!!!!)
Love and Hugs

Intzeyiannis Family said...

Lilly is your families guardian angel and she surely would want you to live a happy life. I know how hard it is, it doesn't get easier after the baby arrives, but you will see a piece of Lilly in Cooper. I know I see Georgia in Ava. Hugs!

Em said...

That was beautiful. I wish I could give you a hug!

Emalee said...

hugs to you jen!!

Bree said...

Thinking of you Jen. I know Lily is watching over you and sending all her love to you.

Bluebird said...

Thinking of you, dear friend. How wonderful of Cooper's Aunt Aimee, I'm sure that was such a very special - although bittersweet- moment.