Friday, December 2, 2011

I'm going through a rough patch right now, emotionally. I don't think it really has to do with the holiday season, either. It has to do with the fact that I'm feeling surronded by...freaking pregnant people. Seriously, at least once a week for the last month and a half there has been a new pregnancy announcement within my group of mommy friends. I mean it makes sense, our kids are almost 2 so I guess getting knocked up again is what normal people do, right?

I mean, I'm just so pissed at the universe that I can't give Cooper a sibling. I know some people chose to just have one kid but I've always wanted 2 and not in the way that I have 2 kids. I'm just so pissed that I don't have a choice in the matter. So, now I get to listen to others bitch about morning sickness or how they want to deliver at 37 weeks. Get the hell over yourself because you sign up for 40 weeks!

I'm in a really pissed off and bitter mood. My SIL was telling me about a 19 year old that she works with that is on her 3rd kid. WHY HER? Why did my body do this to me? Why? Why? Why?

NO one would ever tell normal people to just be happy to have one kid and stop but everyone thinks I should just be happy for the one that I have...I'm just pissed. Let me be pissed.

9 comments:

Joshua said...

You're entitled to be pissed. I certainly won't judge you for it. You're a great mom and a great person. Your family is lucky to have you.

Laura Ryan Caden Will said...

i agree that you have every right to be angry. I just don't understand some things.... this being a huge one. You are a fabulous mom!!!

big hugs as always.

brigette said...

You have the right to be pissed! Dont let any one tell you other wise! Its not fair. You are an amazing mommy and I am sad for you! You will be in my prayers! I agree about the complaining. Dont complain for something you asked for when there are a ton of people that would die to walk in your shoes! Hugs

Nan & Mike said...

I recently posted something simiar...sorry :( xxxooo

Becky said...

You have a right to be pissed. You didn't sign up for the crap that happened to you. There is a huge difference in being able to make the decision to have more kids and not have an option at all. Some people just don't get it.

Bree said...

I understand. I have withdrawn a bit from my mom's group for the same reason. Hugs. x o

AKD said...

You have EVERY right to be pissed! I get upset thinking about IVF and drugs and needles and cerclages and bed rest, and how we have exactly one chance left ever, so it had better be at the right time... And you don't get that, even, and I am so sorry. You deserve so much better.

Antoinette said...

I am pissed at the universe for you and WITH you...i love you Jen and I dont know why this happened to you and I wish that you can meet someone who went through what you did so that you would not feel so isolated...the 'alone' feelings suck balls..sorry i cant think of a more educated thing to type about it....im glad you got a chance to go out tonight and relieve some stress, you SOOO deserve it. you are an amazing mother and if i didnt have sucky blood i would offer to hold your babies for you..but im useless =*( i love you and all your babies!!

Beth said...

I'm totally behind on all my blog reading so I'mm just now reading this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with how you're feeling; I am positive I would feel the same way in your shoes. Stories like that 19 year old make me mad too because I know so many deserving moms like you who would do such a great job. I wish there was something I could do to make things easier for you, but of course there's not. Just know I'm always here for you, even if I'm a crappy blog follower these days. ;)