Monday, June 27, 2011

Boston, then and now...

Boston, May 2008

Boston, June 2011

The first time I went to Boston was Memorial day weekend 2008 and I was 14-15 weeks pregnant with Lily. I was so happy to be pregnant and even bought her a gender neutral onesie because we didn't know the gender yet. She never got to wear that onesie and instead it was handed down to her little brother.

I went to Boston last weekend with my bestfriend of 25 years. My very first girl's trip and my bf had never been to Boston so we decided to go there for the weekend. Actually, I had worried about the Lily triggers as I made hotel reservations. I thought about the memories of my last trip as I boarded the plane to return to this awesome city. I only cried once but she was a constant thought as I walked the cobble stone streets toward Paul Revere's house and the Old North Church. I wonder if I cried for her or for the Jen that will never be again...

The top pic is from that first trip with Lily tucked safely inside of me. Who would've known while I sat on that fountain that I would have such a short time left with her?

The second pic is from last weekend. I knew it was going to be in the 60's and rainy so I packed my Boston sweatshirt that I purchased on my last trip. I feel like I've aged so much from one pic to the next. I've definitely gained a lot of weight which I have been working on.

We ended the night with having a drink in a pub and I had a lump in my throat as I drank some fruity cocktail that I didn't even really enjoy. My only goal was to try not to cry from missing her so much as I gulped down my drink.


Sarita Boyette said...

I love the picture of you with Lily tucked inside you. And I love your other picture - the face of a survivor. I well know how it is to cry for the person you used to be, and won't ever be again. The young, happy go lucky girl I was in October, 1974, died with Meredith. Thinking of you, dear.xoxo

brigette said...

Im so glad you were able to go with your friend.. what a nice getaway. Im sorry that its under different circumstances this time... thinking of you always hugs!