Thursday, October 30, 2008

Fun is not the same anymore...

My hubby and I went to see "Wicked" last Friday night, and for the first time since Lily died I actually had a break from the sadness. But my heart wasn't completely in the show, because still pounding in my brain is that Lily should have been with us. My sis and I went to see New Kids on the Block last night, and it was the same deal...I should have been 8 months pregnant at the show...I joked with my hubby (before Lily died) that I was going to bring a sign to the show that said I was having Jordan Knight's baby. For the record I wouldn't have actually done that...Well, maybe I would've....these events were planned months in advance and I was so excited about all that she would be hearing through my belly. NKOTB is no form of culture, but for instance we went to Les Miserables last I thought how classy is my baby?

Everyday is the same thing...I want my baby back. I know it's not realistic and that she is gone. My heart aches every second of the day~even when there is a smile on my face.

1 comment:

Beth said...

First of all, did you go see Wicked at the Fox? My sister went to see it there too...I think it was the Saturday before you went though. (She lives in SC.) That would be weird if you guys had been there at the same time. Also, two of my friend are going to see NKOTB this weekend in Ft. Lauderdale. They originally invited me to go with them, but since the show was like 3 days before my due date I told them no (of course). Also, I would LOOOOOVE to see Les Miserables. I listen to the soundtrack all the time but I've never seen it.

With that out of the way... :) Yeah, I know what you mean. Tonight my husband and I went out to dinner and were having a good time, and I randomly thought about the time we went out with his sister just a few days before Ada died. I think about my baby all the time too, and it takes the fun out of the fun stuff. You're not alone.